The ‘Man Box’, the Treadmill and the Mask
“Vulnerability is the last thing I want you to see in me, but the first thing I look for in you” - Brené Brown
We grow up in a world constrained by the wounded masculine.
As men, from a young age we are presented with the ‘Man Box’—a rigid, unspoken set of rules setting out what it means “to be a man”. We police ourselves and each other to comply: be tough, stay in control, suppress our emotions and conform to a reductive view of masculinity.
And at the same time, we're pushed toward the corporate treadmill to chase success at all costs. But, for many of us, we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of overwhelm and the cracks start to appear: work bleeds into personal time, relationships become strained and we lose touch of who we truly are and what we really want.
To survive, we put on a mask: to hide our struggles and the unique parts of ourselves that could be judged. We ignore the desperate signals of our bodies and we turn to harmful coping mechanisms.
We hold on, doing everything we can to keep control until we just can’t anymore.
And, for the lucky ones, this becomes our catalyst for change.
I know this all too well…
Growing up, I felt constrained by the "Man Box". Underneath the pressure to conform, I felt like an outsider - I happened to be gay, had lost my father at a young age and wasn’t that interested in ‘macho’ pursuits.
Then came the corporate treadmill. I qualified as a barrister and spent my time managing high-stakes matters, navigating conflict and working unpredictable hours. The pressure to always be ‘on’ and my drive to achieve meant I struggled to create boundaries and self-care fell to the bottom of the pile. Starting out at the Bar also felt alien, especially with its age-old traditions and being surrounded by people from dissimilar backgrounds.
To survive, I put on a mask: I hid my challenges and my ‘otherness’ until I couldn’t any more. I also suppressed the part of me, deep down, which knew this wasn’t the life I wanted.
And, all of this took a toll on my health…
Anxiety turned into full-blown panic disorder and I developed a painful recurring disc issue in my lower back. Every fiber of my being was calling out for change.
Then, one day, at my lowest, as I was looking out of my office window, a voice in my head spoke clearly- “you can’t go on like this”.
This low point led me to the world of self-development. I embarked on a journey of discovery and, after years of therapy, coaching and inner work, I now lead a fulfilling life. But my story isn’t unique—it’s the reality for far too many men. We push ourselves to the brink, seeking support only when we reach a rock bottom.
Yet it doesn’t have to be this way…
After retraining as a coach, I’m dedicated to helping high-achieving men, who have awakened to wanting more, to move from where they are to where they truly want to be.
Perhaps the ‘cracks’ have started to appear and you could do with some support?
Or, you feel deep down that it’s time to work through limiting beliefs and patterns which are holding you back from your full potential?
Or, maybe you’ve come to realise that you’re no longer driven by the things you once were and you’re unsure on your next steps?
Whatever the reason, I’m here to help you navigate the path ahead. You don’t have to do this alone.
Are you ready to start this new chapter?
