The ‘Man Box’, the Treadmill and the Mask

As men, we grew up constrained by the ‘Man Box’—a rigid, unspoken set of rules setting out what it means “to be a man”. We police ourselves and each other to comply: be tough, stay in control, suppress our emotions and conform to a reductive view of masculinity.

And at the same time, we're pushed toward the corporate treadmill to chase success at all costs. But, for many of us, we find ourselves trapped in a cycle of overwhelm and the cracks start to appear: work bleeds into personal time, relationships become strained, and we lose touch with who we truly are and what we really want.

To survive, we put on a mask: to hide our struggles and the parts of ourselves that could be judged. We ignore the desperate signals of our bodies and we turn to harmful coping mechanisms.

And we hold on, doing everything we can to keep control until we just can’t anymore.

I know this all too well.

Growing up, I often felt constrained by the "Man Box". Underneath the pressure to conform, I felt like an outsider - I was gay, had lost my father at a young age and wasn’t that interested in ‘macho’ pursuits.

Then came the corporate treadmill. As a barrister, I spent my time managing high-stakes matters, navigating conflict and working unpredictable hours. The pressure to always be ‘on’ meant I struggled to create boundaries and self-care fell to the bottom of the list. Starting out at the Bar also felt alien, especially with its age-old traditions and being surrounded by people from dissimilar backgrounds.

To survive, I put on a mask: I hid my challenges and my ‘otherness’ until I couldn’t any more.

And, all of this took a toll on my health: anxiety turned into full-blown panic disorder and I developed a recurring disc issue in my lower back.

My low point led me to the world of self-development. And, after years of coaching, therapy and inner work, I now lead a more fulfilling life. But my story isn’t unique—it’s the reality for far too many men. We push ourselves to the brink, seeking support only when we reach a rock bottom.

Yet it doesn’t have to be this way…

After retraining as a coach, I’m dedicated to helping men find more joy, purpose and balance before they reach breaking point. If you’ve begun climbing the corporate ladder but feel as though ‘the cracks’ are starting to appear, I’d love to help support you.