“You can never go back to where you were, because you know too much now”

Ten years ago, I couldn’t even walk onto a treadmill without having a panic attack. Every time my heart rate spiked, my body went into panic mode. My brain associated exercise with fear leaving me trapped in a debilitating cycle (yup, it wasn't fun).

Fast forward: I’ve worked tirelessly on my mental and physical well-being ever since. And, in the past few years, I’ve reached a place I never could have imagined—a life without panic, my own business and a mental and physical fitness routine. For some, it might seem like a ‘normal’ life, but for me, it was monumental.

So, when I slipped my disc again recently (third time now) and I had to hit pause again on parts of my life I fought so hard to create, I felt incredibly frustrated, angry, and low.

And, it got me thinking…am I back at ‘square one’?

But then I remembered:

“You can never go back to where you were, because you know too much now.”

These were the powerful words shared by my former therapist (when I was having a wobble after I’d come out the other end of my anxiety battle).

Here’s the thing. We can never really go back to 'square one' because:

Quite simply, it doesn’t exist anymore- we don’t have a time machine

You might be facing a setback, but you know much more now than you did when you first encountered this. You understand ‘it’ better now

You have built a network of people around you who can support you through this

You are older, wiser, and more resilient than you ever were back then

You have more tools in your toolkit now

So, if you’re struggling with a mental health dip, a recurring injury/illness that’s reared its ugly head, you’re managing the flare-up of a chronic condition or facing some other setback, know you’re not alone. These battles, even when invisible, are real and you’re seen and heard.

But, also remember, as much as it may feel like you have, you are not and will never be, back at square one.

Keep showing up, keep moving forward, keep leaning on others - you've got this!